Kim Foster
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Moms Chasing Dreams

Becoming a mother is a game changer. Big time. Suddenly, you’ve got so much more to think about than yourself, and at its most basic level it feels RIGHT for your little darlings’ needs to come ahead of yours. When my kids are sick I wish I could take it on, instead of them. If there’s one cookie left in the cookie jar, I give it to my doe-eyed little guy instead of gobbling it down myself. (But not the good chocolate. I have limits.)

Still, it makes sense. From a biological and evolutionary point of view, putting their needs ahead of yours is just the way it is.

But…in our lives today, it’s much more complicated than that. 

Because although my needs have moved down on the priority list they haven’t disappeared from the priority list entirely. And all mothers are aware, on one level or another, that there will come a day (and let’s face it, sometimes that day cannot come soon enough) when the brood will move out, move on, move up…and where does that leave us?

Moms need dreams. Personal, meaningful dreams. Whether it’s to finally learn to speak fluent Spanish, start a business, write a novel, or train for a triathlon…whatever it is, I think it’s crucial for our happiness and health to have those dreams. But more than that: those dreams shouldn’t just stay out there, floating around in the ether. Moms need to chase our dreams. We need to get to work and make those dreams come true.

Which sounds straightforward enough. But Oh. Dear. God. Is it ever difficult.

Obstacles abound. Anyone familiar with the struggle over finding the time to pursue your own interests? Self-doubt? Child care issues? Sleep? Fitting in exercise? Finding the time? Juggling competing demands? Mommy guilt? And did I mention…finding the goddamn time?

Fortunately we have the internet. We can find much inspiration online: there are countless stories about moms chasing dreams and making stuff happen for themselves. There are so many creative solutions to timeless problems out there, and ideas about how to overcome the obstacles that stand in our way.

This is a very personal topic for me, being in the midst of some major dream-chasing myself. Perhaps I’ve mentioned I’m on the road to having my first novel published!? (Which is chocolate-covered awesome, to be sure, but also comes with a whole lot of sacrifice and struggle). I also suspect, however, that chasing dreams (plus all the related logistic and existential issues) is a topic many moms can relate to.

So I think I’m going to start gathering those stories here. I’ve already got some in mind…but if you have any, send them my way!

8 Responses to “Moms Chasing Dreams”

  1. Hey Kim! I totally agree. I have decided to finally teach myself to play the piano. I figured, since I’m sending the kids for lessons to fulfill my childhood dreams, I may as well learn some piano in the process! How’s that for a mom-chasing-a-dream? 🙂

  2. I struggle with this, not just for the reasons you’ve mentioned, but also because I’m not sure what my dreams are! There certainly is a lot of inspiration to be found, and yet reading the many inspiring stories sometimes also makes me feel as though the idea of pursuing a passion is yet another pressure being put upon me… Isn’t it enough to be a mom, wife and employee? Now I should be chasing a dream as well?

    • Kim Foster says:

      You make an excellent point. If your current life is meeting all your emotional needs, and feels completely fulfilling as is, then that’s absolutely wonderful! And no, I don’t think you should feel like you have to select some random dream and put energy into chasing it. That would be crazy–who needs that kind of pressure? I’m talking more about when moms suppress or ignore or postpone their deepest desires, because they’re simply too busy taking care of everyone else’s needs. That’s the stuff that makes me want to cry. But I love that you’re at peace with your personal blend of roles, you’re very lucky. Thank you for commenting!

  3. […] moms chasing dreams, time management is an absolute necessity. It will be impossible to self-actualize when you […]

  4. […] the publishing world, and I am cheering her on, all the way! She’s a terrific example of a mom chasing her dream, and I love everything about […]

  5. […] I guess I had started to suspect that I was using my children as a crutch. You used to be so on top of everything, my nasty little inner voice would tell me. Was it a cop-out to blame motherhood? Maybe I’d just become a sloppier, lazier, more disorganized version of myself. Having kids–was I using it as a get out of jail free card, in terms of exercise, housework, and sundry other accomplishments? […]

  6. […] This was the first book of Kate Morton’s that I’ve read, although she’s been on my reading list for quite some time. I will certainly be checking out her other books now. I’m excited to have “discovered” this author–I always feel a particular affinity for writer-moms (…sensing a trend?).  […]

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Kim Foster writes YA and adult books about thieves, spies, and assassins. (Read More)

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